novellhall Chapter 374 The Joker's Diary
Chapter 374 The Joker's Diary
Chapter 373 The Joker's Diary
Chen Xun took the notebook.
The Joker character card has already been unlocked.
He can fully enter the state of Arthur Fleck at any time if he wants, replicating or even surpassing Joaquin Phoenix's legendary performance from his previous life.
But he remained interested in Todd's methodological requirements.
He wanted to set aside the role card and truly step into this soul struggling in the mud to see what the world looked like through his eyes.
For the next week, Chen Xun turned down all unnecessary social engagements and promotional meetings.
Aside from occasionally working with Marvel on post-production for Spider-Man, he spent the rest of his time holed up in Beverly Hills, writing that diary as Arthur Fleck.
He didn't deliberately imitate the chaotic logic of a mentally ill person; he simply followed Arthur's life trajectory, writing down his pain and the teetering hope in the darkness.
The first page of the notebook has crooked handwriting, and next to it is a crooked smiley face with the corners of its mouth turned down and two tears drawn in its eyes:
My mother says I was born to bring joy to the world, but why does my chest hurt so badly every time I laugh?
The second page had a newspaper clipping pasted on it.
It was news about the Gotham City garbage collectors' strike. The newspaper showed streets piled high with garbage, circled repeatedly in red pen, and the handwriting was much more illegible.
Today on the street, I was beaten up by some teenagers. They snatched my GG sign, stomped on it, kicked me in the stomach, and laughed at me, calling me a freak and a clown.
I lay on the ground, laughing uncontrollably, laughing until I couldn't breathe. They ran even faster, saying I was crazy.
Perhaps they are right.
This world is full of trash. Nobody cares if you're in pain or hungry; all they care about is whether you're smiling for them.
The third page contained only one short sentence, which was written and then crossed out, leaving only one line in the end:
My jokes never laugh; it turns out the world itself is the biggest joke.
Flipping further, it was covered with various newspaper clippings.
News of soaring unemployment, reports of street murders, clips from Murray Frank's talk shows, and his various doodles: a smiling face wearing a clown mask, a figure dancing on stairs, a little person trembling in a corner —
On the last page, he wrote and deleted, deleted and wrote, until finally only one sentence remained:
I only hope that my death will be more meaningful than my life.
When Chen Xun finished writing the last word and closed the notebook, it was already dawn outside the window.
He sat at his desk, lost in thought for a long time.
His body was slightly hunched, his shoulders trembled slightly, and a suppressed laugh escaped from his throat.
There was no joy in the laughter, only despair.
He was completely absorbed in Arthur's world and didn't even notice when Christine pushed the door open and came in.
Christine wanted to surprise Chen Xun, but the moment she opened the door, she froze on the spot.
The living room lights were off, with only a faint light leaking through the crack in the study door.
The whole room was quiet, except for the eerie laughter that drifted out little by little.
That laughter was so unfamiliar; it wasn't Chen Xun's usual manner at all.
A cold sweat instantly broke out on her back.
She tiptoed to the study door and gently pushed it open.
Chen Xun sat at the desk, his back to her, holding the black notebook in his hand, his body trembling slightly.
That chilling laugh came from his throat.
His back was hunched over, completely unlike his usual upright and composed demeanor; he looked like a stray dog abandoned by the whole world, curled up in a corner.
"Chen Xun?"
Christine called out softly.
Chen Xun's body suddenly stopped, and he slowly turned his head.
He still wore a strange smile, his eyes were empty, without any of their usual brilliance, and his pupils seemed to be covered by a layer of mist, making it impossible to see the bottom.
Those are Arthur Fleck's eyes, the eyes of the Joker driven to despair by the world.
Christine's heart skipped a beat, and she instinctively took a half step back, almost dropping the suitcase handle in her hand.
She had known Chen Xun for so many years, and never before had she felt so completely unfamiliar with the person in front of her.
Even a single glance from her sent chills down her spine.
It took more than ten seconds for the emptiness in Chen Xun's eyes to slowly dissipate, and the familiar light returned.
He blinked, as if just waking from a dream, stared blankly at Christine, whose face was pale, in the doorway, then rubbed his face, let out a long sigh, and said apologetically, "Sorry, I got too into character and scared you?"
Christine finally came to her senses, patted her chest, walked over, put her suitcase by the door, and pulled up a chair to sit opposite him.
Looking at the black notebook in his hand, the surprise in her eyes slowly turned into curiosity: "For a moment just now, I really didn't think you were Chen Xun anymore. This is Arthur Fleck?"
She reached out and took the notebook, carefully flipping through the diaries and doodles inside, becoming more and more alarmed as she read.
Those crooked handwritings, those broken sentences and doodles, didn't look like anything Chen Xun had written.
"Did you write all of this as Arthur?"
Christine closed the book, looked up at Chen Xun, her eyes filled with shock.
"Todd asked me to write this, to try and enter his world."
Chen Xun nodded, picked up the water glass on the table, took a sip, and finally pulled himself out of Arthur's state: "I didn't feel anything when I was writing, but I realized after I finished that I had unknowingly gotten caught up in it."
Christine looked at him, her eyes sparkling, and nudged his arm, her tone full of eagerness: "Anyway, I don't have much to do lately, and the voice acting for 'Spider-Man' is finished, so how about I rehearse with you?"
Chen Xun was taken aback: "Accompany me in rehearsing?"
"yes."
Christine looked expectant: "You're playing Arthur. I can play any role with you—his mother Penny, the girl next door Sophie, or even talk show host Murray Frank. It's better than you sitting here alone, getting into character and making yourself miserable."
"I've acted in quite a few shows, I'm not going to hold you back, am I?"
She knew all too well how demanding the character of Arthur was.
Being immersed in extreme repression for a long time takes a huge toll on an actor's mental health.
With her by his side, at least he had someone to pull him out of character once he got into it.
Chen Xun felt a warmth in his heart as he looked at the earnestness and concern in her eyes. He smiled and pinched her cheek, saying, "Aren't you afraid I'll scare you like I did before?"
"What are you afraid of?"
Christine rolled her eyes, slapped his hand away, got up and walked to the other side of the study. She turned around, nodded slightly, and when she looked up again, her whole demeanor had changed.
Her eyes became obsessive, her tone carrying a touch of naive innocence and an unyielding stubbornness ingrained in her bones, perfectly mirroring the state of Arthur's mother, Penny: "Arthur, my little darling, how was your day? Did you bring joy to the people of this world?"
""
Chen Xun looked at her, took a deep breath, and hunched over slightly again, his shoulders slumped, his hands clenched tightly together. His eyes regained Arthur's timidity and tenderness, along with a hint of barely concealed flattery. He spoke softly, "Mom, I had a pretty good day today. I thought of a new joke, do you want to hear it?"
The warm light in the study fell on the open script of "Joker".
Chen Xun's body was slightly hunched, his hands were tightly clasped together, his lowered eyelashes trembled slightly, and he even breathed very softly, just like Arthur Fleck when he faced his mother, with his cautious and ingratiating manner.
"Mom, I went to audition at the comedy club today."
His voice was soft, with a slight, almost imperceptible tremor, like a child waiting to be praised: "Some people in the audience laughed, really, they laughed at my joke."
Christine sat in the chair opposite her, her back ramrod straight, her eyes filled with an unrealistic obsession. In Penny's uniquely gentle yet stubborn tone, she said, "I knew my Arthur was a natural comedian. Mr. Thomas Wayne will definitely see your talent. He will help us. We will definitely have a good life."
Her delivery of lines is on par with professional method actors, perfectly capturing Penny's obsessive fantasy and her expectations for her son.
Chen Xun, who plays Arthur, suddenly dimmed the light in his eyes. His lips moved as if he wanted to say something, but in the end he just lowered his head.
An uncontrollable laugh suddenly erupted from my throat.
His shoulders trembled slightly, just like Arthur's when he was having an attack.
Christine felt a slight pang in her heart when she saw him like this.
She knew Chen Xun was deeply immersed in the role, but she didn't expect that in just a simple scene, he could completely immerse himself in Arthur's despair, even his aura became gloomy and broken, as if he was about to be swallowed by darkness at any moment.
Suddenly, an idea struck her. The gentle yet stubborn look on her face vanished instantly. She leaned back in her chair, crossed her legs, raised an eyebrow, and spoke to Arthur in that cool, arrogant MJ-esque tone: "Hey, Parker, what are you pretending to be pitiful for? Did Mr. Stark give you this suit so you could put on a melodramatic show for thin air?"
One sentence immediately jumps to "Spider-Man".
Chen Xun was immersed in Arthur's emotions when he suddenly heard this sentence and froze on the spot.
The suppressed laughter stopped abruptly. He looked up at Christine, his eyes still filled with lingering confusion, like a sleepwalker suddenly awakened.
Seeing his bewildered look, Christine couldn't help but burst out laughing, picked up the script on the table and threw it at him: "Snap out of it, Mr. Chen, if you keep acting like this, you'll get stuck in a rut like Arthur and never get out."
Chen Xun blinked, finally snapping out of his Arthur-like state. Looking at Christine, who was laughing so hard she was doubled over, he shook his head helplessly, but couldn't help laughing too: "Your break character so suddenly. I was just getting into character when you yelled at me and brought me right back to Queens."
"Otherwise what?"
Christine rolled her eyes, got up and walked to his side, reaching out to rub his furrowed brow. Her tone was a little reproachful, but also full of undisguised concern: "Todd told you to write in your diary to get into character, not to live like Arthur. If you keep immersing yourself like this, you'll develop psychological problems before filming even starts."
Her palm, slightly cool in temperature, stroked his furrowed brow, like a gentle breeze dispelling the lingering gloom on his body.
Chen Xun grasped her hand, pulled her into his arms, buried his head in the crook of her neck, and took a deep breath.
He hadn't felt anything while he was immersed in Arthur's world, but Christine's outburst made him belatedly realize that his back was covered in a layer of cold sweat.
"You're right," he said in a low voice. "This role is indeed more demanding than I imagined."
"Even if it's a pain, you can't get yourself involved."
Christine reached out and patted his back, like soothing a frightened large dog. Suddenly, her eyes lit up, and she leaned close to his ear: "Since we're just acting anyway, why don't we do something more interesting? It's better than you putting on a melodramatic show for me."
Chen Xun looked up at her, a hint of curiosity in his eyes: "How do we play?"
Christine laughed and jumped out of his arms, turned around and rushed into the bedroom. She rummaged through drawers and cabinets for a long time, and when she came out, Chen Xun was completely stunned.
She somehow found a Harley Quinn cosplay outfit.
Wearing a red and blue color-blocked crop top, ripped jeans, exaggerated yet playful clown makeup, and her hair tied in two high ponytails, she was holding a cartoon baseball bat.
Standing there, she's cool and hot, a crazy beauty straight out of Gotham City.
"How is it?"
Christine spun around, slung the baseball bat over her shoulder, raised an eyebrow at Chen Xun, and spoke in Harry Potter's wildly sweet tone, "Hey, Pudding! What are you doing squatting there? Instead of blowing up Arkham, you're writing in your diary?"
Chen Xun stared at her for a couple of seconds, then burst into laughter.
He never expected that Christine would cosplay Harley Quinn so convincingly; her adorable and quirky charm was simply irresistible.
Despite his laughter, he instantly got into character, leaning back in his chair with a maniacal grin, the previous gloom gone from his eyes: "Oh—my Harley, shouldn't you be with the Joker fighting Batman? What are you doing here with me?"
"Because my pudding is here."
Christine strode up to him, gently lifted his chin with a baseball bat, leaned close to him, and breathed softly, "Gotham's Joker is nowhere near as interesting as my Golden Globe-winning actor. Besides, your Joker is way more handsome than Jared Leto's."
Chen Xun laughed again at her words. He reached out and pulled her into his arms, snatched the baseball bat from her hand and threw it aside. He lowered his head and kissed the clown makeup on her face, laughing as he said, "Your makeup is so bad, you'll end up kissing my face full of paint later."
"What are you afraid of?" Christine hooked her arm around his neck. "We Gotham couples are meant to be crazy."
The two of them hugged and played around, taking turns reciting Harley Quinn and the Joker's lines, occasionally escaping to Marvel.
Christine suddenly switched to Iron Man's tone, yelling at him, "Peter Parker, hand over your web-shooters!" Chen Xun followed suit, replying, "Mr. Stark, Harley stole your armor."
The two of them had a great time.
After having a blast, the two completely let loose.
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